It started with a lovers tiff.
"Feeling cool today. Dumped my girlfriend. Happy independence day." Ex-boyfriend's post on facebook after the break up.
Malini Murmu, B.Tech, ex-employee of Infosys and student of IIM-Bangalore hangs herself from the ceiling fan of her hostel room a few hours after reading the post - is how it ends.
It is old 'news' and I am not about to take a moral stand in favor or against the actions of either of them almost a year after the incident. I do not think that this facebook post by her ex was the reason for Malini's suicide. Who can understand the state of mind of someone who is about to end his or her life? I suppose even the person committing the act doesn't understand much at that moment. She left a note saying this was the best form of revenge!
I am actually baffled by this race to go public about our most intimate moments and feelings. A public statement about dumping his girlfriend on facebook made Abhishek Dhan feel cool. What can I say!!!
Privacy doesn't make you feel cool when it is so easy to satisfy our childhood dream of becoming 'public' figures. It's ironic that almost every public figure has expressed the need for privacy but we have this unrelenting urge to 'share' our lives with hundreds of people, all 'friends'. The world needs to know every opinion we form. Life is interesting when it is shared with 'friends', 'friends of friends' or 'public' sometimes simply because of our ignorance about privacy settings. We forget to draw the line sometimes and it's a thin line for sure.
It's good to appreciate but we cross the line when we abuse.. when we express our negative opinion about others. I remember a line from a movie called Lakshya... "hum dushmani mein bhi ek sharafat rakhte hain". Unfortunately, hum dosti mein sharafat bhoolte ja rahe hain. It's good to share but not necessary that everything be shared with everyone. It is also important to be just as sensitive about the need for privacy of those we interact with online, as we are about our own.
About two years back while I was driving to office, some one who was travelling in an SUV company cab right in front of my car clicked my picture using his mobile phone camera.. right there on NH8, driving at about 100 kmph, I wanted his head. It is a minor incident considering the plight of women in Delhi-Gurgaon or frankly any place on earth. But it was a violation of privacy nevertheless and I still feel outraged whenever I am reminded of that incident. We are already so vulnerable with cameras all around us - at work, restaurants, shopping malls, parking lots.. everywhere. Do we need to add to public news feed? Phone records, email accounts, online banking information, date of birth, mother's maiden name, identity document details, credit cards... we need to protect them all. We need to protect ourselves and our right to privacy.
I urge everyone to check and recheck privacy settings on all their online accounts and change passwords regularly. Don't click on random hyperlinks. It can be destructive. There is a genuine threat out there and the IT industry is fighting a daily battle online trying to protect you from attacks that are real, happening right this minute while you read my blog and of which you are not even aware of. Share online what's normal and reach out to people you are close to, offline, in your moments of extreme happiness or pain. To the next generation, and I have quite a few young 'friends' on facebook - don't fall into the trap of sharing too much or personal information in your enthusiasm. Facebook is not a popularity contest or an image management tool. Yes, your favorite color and the brand of shoes you bought, are all getting stored in company databases. No, there are no lucky draws to be won. There is no online lottery. Puhleez...! There is nothing called "Guaranteed Weight Loss". Save yourself from spam. Be cautious of everything you post. And it is fine if you are not so 'cool'.
It's good to have a social community but did that community need to know that Malini had been 'dumped'? Was the fact that she was denied of her right to grieve in private, the reason she ended up becoming public newsprint? Abhishek was booked for abetting suicide. He has since closed his facebook account. But was it the break up or that one status update that changed his life and took another, no one will know.
"Feeling cool today. Dumped my girlfriend. Happy independence day." Ex-boyfriend's post on facebook after the break up.
Malini Murmu, B.Tech, ex-employee of Infosys and student of IIM-Bangalore hangs herself from the ceiling fan of her hostel room a few hours after reading the post - is how it ends.
It is old 'news' and I am not about to take a moral stand in favor or against the actions of either of them almost a year after the incident. I do not think that this facebook post by her ex was the reason for Malini's suicide. Who can understand the state of mind of someone who is about to end his or her life? I suppose even the person committing the act doesn't understand much at that moment. She left a note saying this was the best form of revenge!
I am actually baffled by this race to go public about our most intimate moments and feelings. A public statement about dumping his girlfriend on facebook made Abhishek Dhan feel cool. What can I say!!!
Privacy doesn't make you feel cool when it is so easy to satisfy our childhood dream of becoming 'public' figures. It's ironic that almost every public figure has expressed the need for privacy but we have this unrelenting urge to 'share' our lives with hundreds of people, all 'friends'. The world needs to know every opinion we form. Life is interesting when it is shared with 'friends', 'friends of friends' or 'public' sometimes simply because of our ignorance about privacy settings. We forget to draw the line sometimes and it's a thin line for sure.
It's good to appreciate but we cross the line when we abuse.. when we express our negative opinion about others. I remember a line from a movie called Lakshya... "hum dushmani mein bhi ek sharafat rakhte hain". Unfortunately, hum dosti mein sharafat bhoolte ja rahe hain. It's good to share but not necessary that everything be shared with everyone. It is also important to be just as sensitive about the need for privacy of those we interact with online, as we are about our own.
About two years back while I was driving to office, some one who was travelling in an SUV company cab right in front of my car clicked my picture using his mobile phone camera.. right there on NH8, driving at about 100 kmph, I wanted his head. It is a minor incident considering the plight of women in Delhi-Gurgaon or frankly any place on earth. But it was a violation of privacy nevertheless and I still feel outraged whenever I am reminded of that incident. We are already so vulnerable with cameras all around us - at work, restaurants, shopping malls, parking lots.. everywhere. Do we need to add to public news feed? Phone records, email accounts, online banking information, date of birth, mother's maiden name, identity document details, credit cards... we need to protect them all. We need to protect ourselves and our right to privacy.
I urge everyone to check and recheck privacy settings on all their online accounts and change passwords regularly. Don't click on random hyperlinks. It can be destructive. There is a genuine threat out there and the IT industry is fighting a daily battle online trying to protect you from attacks that are real, happening right this minute while you read my blog and of which you are not even aware of. Share online what's normal and reach out to people you are close to, offline, in your moments of extreme happiness or pain. To the next generation, and I have quite a few young 'friends' on facebook - don't fall into the trap of sharing too much or personal information in your enthusiasm. Facebook is not a popularity contest or an image management tool. Yes, your favorite color and the brand of shoes you bought, are all getting stored in company databases. No, there are no lucky draws to be won. There is no online lottery. Puhleez...! There is nothing called "Guaranteed Weight Loss". Save yourself from spam. Be cautious of everything you post. And it is fine if you are not so 'cool'.
It's good to have a social community but did that community need to know that Malini had been 'dumped'? Was the fact that she was denied of her right to grieve in private, the reason she ended up becoming public newsprint? Abhishek was booked for abetting suicide. He has since closed his facebook account. But was it the break up or that one status update that changed his life and took another, no one will know.
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